Finding Tsukasa
by Starr Bryte
Summary: Mimiru and Bear decide to find the 'real Tsukasa', with saddening and horrifying results.


_**Note:**_**This past summer Lone Warrior2 introduced me to the world of .hackSign. It was an amazing, beautiful and painful world of depression and escape from the world. I bought the soundtrack just to keep in touch with that world. I also did a bit of research since I only got to see episodes 1-5. This is one of those 'spur-of-the-moment' stories that just pop out every once in a while. Tons of OOC-ness. I will not apologize for character and story mauling. So if you have something against this leave now and forever hold thy peace and sanity.**

_**Finding Tsukasa**_

In a room there lies a girl. She sleeps the sleep of those who are lost. The sleep is deep. No one can reach her. No one can find her. She is alone. But not as alone as they expect. The nurses pity the girl. They shake their heads as they change her IV's every day. No one knows what is wrong with the girl. Rumor says that the virtual reality game, The World, caused brain damage. But the girl's brain activity is normal. Maybe even better than the average human. Some say that she is trapped inside the game. Doomed forever wander. Doomed forever to be lost. Doomed forever to be alone. As each day passes the girl's body becomes weaker. Even with the machines keeping her alive soon her body would reach a limit and then she would die. No one knows when. But some say it is soon. No one visits this girl. No one comes to see her. No friends. No family. No one. She is a girl to be pitied. In a room there lies a girl. She sleeps the sleep of those who are lost. The sleep is deep. No one can reach her. No one can find her. She is alone. Doomed forever to wander. Doomed forever to be lost. Doomed forever to be alone. Doomed forever to sleep. Doomed forever to dream.

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It was raining again at the Cathedral. Mimiru sighed and looked around the gloomy place. A single building on a high plateau. The rest of the land was covered in fog. Holding out a hand she smiled. Even though you couldn't feel the rain in this virtual world it still seemed weird. As if she were a ghost. She began to whistle a cheerful little tune as she skipped up to the doors. She knew Tsukasa was there. He was always there. Even though three months had passed since the strange boy had entered The World he didn't leave. He couldn't leave. Or so he said. Which was impossible… But she, like everyone else had seen the Logs. Three months and counting. She had long since gotten used to it and now ignored the questions that always entered the back of her mind like 'how does he eat?', 'when does he sleep?'. Old news. She just accepted it for what it was. Don't ask questions and you won't go crazy because of the answer. She opened the door which creaked back on silent hinges.

"Tsukaaaasaaaaaa!" She called, "Hey, gloom and dooooom!" No answer. She walked in. She didn't feel so nervous in this place now. Not since the strange "guardian" Tsukasa had towed around had been destroyed. Mimiru whistled a happy little tune as she looked around ('Hey Let's Go' from the movie 'My Neighbor Totoro'. Best movie she had ever seen during a baby-sitting gig.). The place was as dark and dank as ever. For some one who was a white magic user he sure liked dark and angsty places. That's why she was here. Mimiru to the rescue! Time fore Tsukasa gloom and doom to see some color for once. Operation: Drag Tsukasa down to the Main Village was underway! She glanced around. The place looked empty. But she knew he was here. Somewhere. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder. Shrieking she spun around and whacked the owner of that hand as hard as she could. Tsukasa gave a cry and slammed into the pews.

"Ohmygawd!" Mimiru cried, "Sorry. You surprised me."

"Ow." Tsukasa muttered, clutching his nose. Mimiru raised an eyebrow.

"'Ow'?" She asked, "That's not supposed to hurt. You're in a virtual world, dummy. Injuries don't hurt." Tsukasa stood up in surprise.

"What!" He cried, "Not supposed to hurt?" He pulled his hand away. His nose was bleeding and he had the start of a bruise on his pale cheek. Mimiru's legs gave and she fell over with a thud.

"What the hell?" She gasped. Tsukasa knelt down next to her and pinched his nose to make sure it wasn't broken.

"Blood!" Mimiru gasped. Reaching out she touched the blood on Tsukasa's hand,

"But... I don't understand. You can bleed here?"

"What? You mean you can't?" Tsukasa asked.

"No. Watch." Unsheathing her sword Mimiru sliced her hand lightly on the blade. Holding it out she showed Tsukasa.

"This is a virtual world. You can't bleed. And if you die you just have to restart again. This isn't right." Tsukasa wrinkled his nose. The pain was fading, but he knew his face was going to be sore for days.

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"What d'you mean he bleeds!" Bear demanded.

"Just what I meant. He bleeds. And feels pain. I'm worried. We're not supposed to feel pain or bleed. Or have a sense of taste and smell… He does." Mimiru said. Bear ran a hand through his hair.

"Great. This just adds another thing to our incredibly long list of rules our Tsukasa has broken by just existing."

"So... What should we do?" Mimiru asked. Bear sighed.

"I was thinking... I have a really good lead as to where our Tsukasa is in the real world. And I was thinking about us having a formal meeting. We need to find Tsukasa. Maybe see if we can snap him out of it. I mean, it's been almost three months. Three months and he hasn't left The World once." Mimiru nodded.

"Alright. I'll e-mail a meeting address to you. Along with place and time. We'll start our search wherever is closest." Bear nodded and grinned.

"Just don't be too disappointed when you meet me. I am an old man after all."

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't be late."

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The girl sat in a cafe and tapped a tattoo on the plastic table impatiently. She stared at her watch. Then she played with her braids. Then she polished her glasses. Then she hummed.

"Rrrrrrrrgh." She growled, "Where is he! He's late. That's what he is. Late, late, late. Hmmmmph." Suddenly she saw a familiar face. A face that had been post carded to her.

"Hey! Over here!" She stood and waved. The man turned and smiled. He was tall, and looked a little like his Avatar in The World… Maybe a little older, but still she could see her on-line mentor in his eyes.

"Sorry I'm late." He said, sitting down. The girl grinned and they stared at each other intently.

"Soooo. You're Bear."

"And you're Mimiru. Nice to meet you at last." The two laughed with the awkwardness of old friends who haven't seen each other in decades and finally meet again to find they have absolutely nothing in common.

"So. What have you found?" She asked as she sipped her latte.

"Well. I had a friend I know who traces hackers do a little hacking of his own. He was worried about The World also and wanted to help. He traced Tsukasa's signal to a city near here. That's why I asked to meet you here. I found it in a hospital near the center of town. The name was Tsukasa. That's all I found. We can only hope this is the right one." He said, running a hand through his hair again. She put down her cup.

"Well." She said, cracking her knuckles, "Then I think we should get to the bottom of this once and for all. Let Operation: Finding Tsukasa begin."

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They found the hospital easily enough. The trouble was getting in.

"Are you a family member?" The nurse asked doubtfully. The girl grinned, a picture of innocence. He stifled a smile. Mimiru remained Mimiru whether she was Mimiru or not. He knew that look. A huge, stifling, unbelievingly believable, little white lie was in order.

"Actually." She said, "I'm the seventh cousin twice removed and once replaced on the mother's side of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend's girlfriend's hairdresser's eldest sister's twin brother whose nephew went to school with Tsukasa. I heard that Tsukasa was in the hospital and I decided to pay a visit since I just moved to the area. See? I even brought flowers too." The nurse only looked slightly less overwhelmed than a shell shock victim.

"Okay. I guess it wouldn't hurt for her to have a few visitors. Even though she is practically a vegetable." The nurse led them down the hallway and into one of the wards. The two companions shared a shocked look. SHE? VEGETABLE?

"Poor girl." The nurse told them, "She's been in the hospital for almost three months. No one visits her. No friends. No family. From what I hear, the poor thing has had the worst life imaginable. Mother dies at age 5. Father abused her. Had no friends to speak of. A terrible, lonely childhood from what I hear. Even tried to commit suicide once. If I had a life like her, I'd try to off myself too. But you didn't hear this from me. She became addicted to that new on-line role-playing game… The World I think it's called. Just collapsed in front of her computer one night… I think she wanted to escape life and if you ask me she's using this coma the same way she used the game… Personally I don't think she WANTS to wake up…" The nurse pointed down a hallway,

"Room 203. Visiting hours end at 7. I'll be back to check on her later… Press the call if anything happens… She had a convulsion earlier this week..." The girl swallowed hard. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm nervous Bear." She whispered, dropping back into their Avatar names, "I don't know why. Maybe it's because the real world and The World are becoming so close together. Maybe if she is in fact the one we're looking for, we could get help from the Sys Admin."

"I hope so." He said. Then he held out his arm and gave a bow, "Shall we?" She nodded and took his arm. Down the hall they went to room 203. Suddenly she stopped.

"I'm scared. I don't know what we'll see in there. I'm not even sure I want to know."

"If you want I'll go in first." He offered. She smiled.

"I swear you don't change even when you are in The World."

"Neither do you." Came the answer. She took a deep breath.

"Alright. Let's go." She opened the door. The room was filled with light, but looked empty and forlorn. Forgotten. Abandoned. Against one wall was a bed and a figure covered in a blanket. Swallowing hard She stepped foreword and peered into the bed. She gasped.

"Oh... Oh no. No." She put a hand over her mouth and sat down on a nearby chair as her legs gave. She turned away and tried to breath slowly. She didn't want to see anymore. She didn't want to look at the wretched creature that was supposed to be the enigmatic Wavemaster she had come to admire. She knew it was unfair of her, but it was too sad to imagine the fate of the one she viewed as a friend. He shook his head. In the bed was a girl no older than 12. She had shaggy brown hair, but her face was a face they both knew well. The nose. The pointed chin. The sad mouth. The drab features. The rest of her was covered in tubes and wires and a sheet for modesty's sake. By the bed a heart and brain monitor bipped away. Her chest rose and fell. She looked so thin and tiny in that bed. Not the brave, solitary Wavemaster with his tragic glances and mysterious smile. This was a creature to be pitied. The blanket rose and fell with each breath. He shook his head sadly. He had heard stories about people in a coma. How after a certain amount of time their bodies would reach a limit and die. This girl was close. Very close. If she didn't wake soon, she would die. If the monitors weren't showing it, he would have thought she was already dead. On her face was a bruise on her left cheek. The left over mark of where Mimiru had accidentally slapped Tsukasa.

"If the injuries of The World are being reflected in the real world… What will happen if Tsukasa is killed?" He murmured… It wasn't a pleasant thought and he knew better than to voice his worries to his companion… It would just hurt her more…

"Hey, look at this!" His companion called. Her voice was excited now. He turned. On the corner of the table was a stuffed toy. It was in the shape of a cat person. Purple grey fur with a star shaped blotch over one eye and a harlequin style. A floppy hat and boots.

"It's the cat PC we keep seeing!" He gasped. He reached out to touch it, but pulled back at the last moment. Fearing that it might come alive. Scrawled on the hat were the words.

"My darling daughter, As long as we walk together I will protect you. Keep this little friend close to you. love, Mama. Christmas 2005."

"That was almost seven years ago." She murmured, "And the nurse said that his mother died almost eight months after this date... D'you think that TSUKASA created the cat PC?"

"No." He answered, "I don't think so. I also believe what Tsukasa said... That he can't remember anything. And I seriously believe that Tsukasa thinks that he's a boy."

"How sad." She murmured. Reaching out she took the little girl's hand in her own. Her hand lay limply and without life.

"Tsukasa..." She murmured, " Can you hear me? If you can I swear that I'll find a way to save you... I promise... Please.. And when you're back and all better we'll meet... And I'll take you out for ice-cream. Would you like that?" He sighed.

"I don't think she can hear you... She's not in this world anymore... She's in the other World. Someplace where we mere humans can't reach her... But a place where Mimiru and Bear can... Let's go. We've found him... We found Tsukasa..."

"And what a bitter meeting it was." She murmured. There was an empty vase on the bedside table. Filling it with water she set the flowers in it and placed it back on the table.. Leaning foreword she gently kissed the girl's forehead.

"I'll come back to see you... I won't let you be alone." He held the door open for her and took her home.

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"See you on the other side." He told her as he left her on the doorstep of her house.

"Yes." She murmured, "See you on the other side..."

"And… Don't worry too much…" He said lamely, "Tsukasa can take care of himself…"

"I know…" She nodded as if reading his thoughts, "That's what worries me…"

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After that she visited the girl almost every week to change the flowers and to visit with her. About a week after the meeting she got a strange e-mail from a NPC.

"Mimiru, Thank you. Signed, The Cat."

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He told the Sys Admin all about what they had seen. Soon after three more people went into coma's. No cause was found, but all had collapsed at their terminals… Just like Tsukasa…

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Mimiru stood outside the cathedral doors. She knew he was in there. He was always there. Mimiru entered and walked down the aisle. He was sitting on the alter like he usually was. Staring gloomily at nothing. He started when she stepped in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. Mimiru sighed and sat down on the floor, leaning against the side of the alter.

"I don't know." She said, "I was feeling gloomy and wanted to be alone. What better place to be alone than here? And what better company to keep than with someone who wants to be alone?" Tsukasa raised an eyebrow. Mimiru laughed.

"Y'know... Tsukasa... When you find a way to log out... I was wondering... If I could meet you in real life... In person.. And when we do meet... I was wondering if you would like to go out for some ice cream?" Tsukasa smiled his mysterious smile.

"IF I get out... I would like that..." Mimiru didn't comment. She tried to keep her spirits up.. But it was becoming more and more difficult. The girl was dying. Tsukasa was trapped. And there was nothing she could do. So Mimiru sat with Tsukasa, hoping that he would be less lonely if she were there... Even if they didn't talk. For if there are no need for words... Why talk at all?

In a room there lies a girl. She sleeps the sleep of those who are lost. The sleep is deep. No one can reach her. No one can find her. She is alone. Doomed forever to wander. Doomed forever to be lost. Doomed forever to be alone. Doomed forever to sleep. Doomed forever to dream...

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_Walk with me in the twilight  
Of a summer's night for awhile_

_Tell me every story never ever told in the past  
Take me back to the land_

_Where my yearnings were born  
The key to open the door is in your hand_

_Now fly me home  
Fanatics find their heaven in the never ending storming wind_

_Auguries of destruction be a lullaby for rebirth  
Consolations, be there_

_In my dreamland to come  
The key to open the door is in your hand_

_Now take me home  
I believe in fantasies invisible to me_

_In the land of misery I'm searching for the sign  
To the door of mystery and dignity_

_I'm wandering down  
I'm searching down the secrets of the sun_

_Walk with me in the twilight  
Of a summer's night for awhile_

_Tell me every story never ever told in the past  
Take me back to the land_

_Where my yearnings were born  
The key to open the door is in your hand_

_Now take me home  
To the land of Twilight_

_Fly me home  
To the land of Twilight_

_The key to open the door is in your hand  
To the land of Twilight_


End file.
